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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24642442">I get the feeling you've been here before</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Agentbadass/pseuds/Agentbadass'>Agentbadass</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Glee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, F/F, Inspired by Love Rosie, Love Rosie AU, beth is finns not pucks</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 02:13:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,605</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24642442</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Agentbadass/pseuds/Agentbadass</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Loosely based on the movie Love Rosie, its a story of Rachel and Quinn through missed connections. Completely AU, but has some canon story lines.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Rachel Berry/Quinn Fabray</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The beginning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/inktank/gifts">inktank</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Lucy doesn't want to be here. Her dress is uncomfortable, she doesn't know anyone, and Frannie left her as soon as they walked in. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Remember to be polite and friendly Lucy, these are your dad's colleagues </span>
  </em>
  <span>her mother had said, but Lucy just wants to hide. She finds an office with no one in it and is quite content to spend the afternoon admiring the pictures on the desk. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Her plans change when a girl with brown hair and bangs walks in. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re not supposed to be in here,” the girl says pointedly. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Lucy ducks her head in shame, she's been caught. She hadn’t expected someone to come into this office. Everyone seemed so busy with the party. She’d thought she was safe. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry. I just wanted to get away from everyone,” she apologises, hoping that the girl wouldn’t tell anyone. If her mother heard about this she would be dead. Fabrays don’t hide at gatherings. Lucy is expected to be just as talkative and charming as Frannie is probably being. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That's okay. My daddy always tells me I can go into the basement if it gets too much for me.” The girl holds out a hand. “I'm Rachel, Rachel Berry.” Rachel smiles. Her smile is really pretty, and genuine.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Lucy thinks the name sounds familiar, and then it clicks. </span>
  <em>
    <span>This is Rachel Berry, her dads are hosting the party. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Lucy's stomach sinks uncomfortably. Rachel’s smile is kind though, and Lucy smiles back at her. She takes the little hand on offer in hers and shakes it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m Lucy,” she says, taking Rachels hand. “Lucy Fabray,” she adds, as an afterthought. Rachel feels welcoming, and the anxiety that was building up inside Lucy is slowly dissipating the more she sees that smile. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It's nice to meet you,” Rachel beams, “I met your sister, Frannie.” Rachel says with disdain, her nose wrinkling a little at the thought. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I feel sorry for you.” Lucy laughs. Frannie is never friendly. According to Frannie, it's the secret to making everyone want to be you. Lucy thinks its stupid.  She never really understands any of the lectures on how to be the best that Frannie gives her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“She is an,” Rachel pauses, tongue between her teeth for a moment while she thinks. Her daddys always taught her to be polite.  “</span>
  <em>
    <span>interesting</span>
  </em>
  <span> girl.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“She's the worst. I wish I didn’t have her as a sister” Lucy huffs, digging the ball of her foot into the ground. She doesn’t like Frannie often. They’re too different, and Lucy really does wish that Frannie would leave sometimes. She feels awful about it afterwards, but she certainly feels it too often to feel apologetic. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I cannot agree. I have asked my father's time and time again to give me a sibling but they say I’m enough for their hands. I would love to have a sister.” Rachel rambles, with exaggerated hand gestures. Lucy thinks it's cute. It's like she's talking too big for herself, and the way she talks is like an adult. Lucy’s face twists a little, thinking of how she really is lucky that she isn’t alone. Her house is too big and lonely as it is already. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I still think sisters are the worst. She left me all alone at this party and I don’t know anyone here” Lucy huffs again, pouting with all the anger she can muster about being here. She just wants to be at home, where she can hide in her room and read Narnia yet again. There's no copy of Narnia in this office. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You know me now! And we can play a game if you want?” Rachel smiles nervously. She’s not sure if she’s expecting Lucy to say yes. She’s already known for not having a lot of friends. Her daddys say it's because no one appreciates her confidence and to not let it get her down, but sometimes it's hard. She reminds herself to not take it badly if Lucy doesn’t want to play. The girl looks uncomfortable enough as it is. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Sure! Whatcha thinkin of?” Lucy beams. She’s excited to have a friend here. Suddenly this evening doesn't look completely like a lost cause. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you like Jenga? My Daddy hides it in his office here” Rachel says, rifling through some drawers behind the desk. Lucy is confused, </span>
  <em>
    <span>why </span>
  </em>
  <span>is this girl being so nice to her, girls are normally mean and insult her. The brunette is unlike anyone she's met before. So friendly, warm, and welcoming. It's why she follows Rachel, trailing behind in awe just slightly. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And that's the start of Rachel and Lucy.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rachel and Lucy becomes sleepovers, playdates and lazy summer afternoons outside by tree in Lucy’s backyard reading. Lucy always picks fantasy, wanting to escape into fictional worlds, and Rachel always reads the </span>
  <em>
    <span>unofficial Biography of Barbara Striesand. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Truth is, Rachel is never really reading. She's read the </span>
  <em>
    <span>unofficial Biography of Barbara Striesand </span>
  </em>
  <span>enough times to know it off by heart. What she’s really doing is watching Lucy. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Lucy reads expressively. She reads fast, and Rachel can practically read the book from Lucy’s expressions. Rachel finds it adorable and spends some of the time wondering why Lucy wants to be her friend. She knows that she can be a </span>
  <em>
    <span>handful</span>
  </em>
  <span> as her fathers not so delicately put it - and Lucy seems to take her quirks in her stride, smiling softly at Rachel whenever she seems to go too far over the top. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rachel doesn’t realise they’re both asking the same questions. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But they cling to each other, and become inseparable. The Fabrays’ are not the biggest fan of her fathers, she knows, as Lucy softly confessed to her one night they spent in sleeping bags side by side. It doesn’t matter, because Lucy accepts her as she is, and listens to her insane broadway rants (Even if Rachel knows she’s only half listening). She's the best and truest friend Rachel has ever had. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>--</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rachel’s there when Lucy starts disappearing. It starts slowly, as all bad things do, with Lucy losing weight. Rachels knows that Lucy doesn't have to be fat and unhappy with herself to be Rachel's friend. Lucy loves her. Or at least Rachel thinks so. But that's how it starts, and Rachel only notices when Lucy spends a few weeks of summer cooped inside and not wanting to see her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Judy says Lucy has a bad cold and doesn't want to be seen, but when Lucy next sees her she looks a little different. Rachel doesn’t know quite what it is, but she attributes it to the weight loss. She doesn’t really notice the way Lucy’s nose sticks out less, or the way it demurely hooks slightly more up now. She's too wrapped up in her own nose. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The closer it gets to the start of highschool, the harder it gets for Rachel to ignore Lucy disappearing. It becomes impossible to ignore the day Lucy comes up to her and says “I go by Quinn now, so if you could call me that,” in a very short tone, like there's no room for arguments. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rachel doesn’t even consider arguing. She swallows heavily and nods, greeting her with a “Hello, Quinn.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And that was the moment that Rachel knew she lost Lucy. She was left with Quinn, all hard edges and half of what she loved. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rachel still thinks she sees glimpses of Lucy, like a ghost, haunting her. There are moments when she smiles like Lucy, happy and carefree, after listening to one of Rachel's more insane theories on Barbra. Or sometimes, Quinn will say something that sounds just like Lucy, and Rachel can almost pretend that Lucy still exists. It haunts her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Highschool starts and</span>
  <span> Lucy </span>
  <em>
    <span>Quinn, </span>
  </em>
  <span>all but disappears from Rachel's life. Between cheerios, and her studies Quinn doesn’t have much time for Rachel. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Quinn! You need to stop ignoring me!” Rachel huffs, stomping her foot. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not, I swear” Quinn sighs, slumping onto Rachel’s bed. She's tired from her long hours spent practicing, and her muscles ache </span>
  <em>
    <span>everywhere</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Fighting to be the cheerios captain is proving to be hard, but she can’t let Frannie outshine her. She doesn’t have the patience for Rachel’s rants about Funny Girl today, she just wants to curl up and sleep. She should feel awful for it, but she's too tired to. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I never see you anymore” Rachel whines, exaggeratedly pouting for effect. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She wants Quinns sympathy. She needs Quinn’s sympathy. It would be so easy for the other girl to just brush her off, to go and hang out with her two new cheerleader friends that flank Quinn in the halls like the devil and angel on her shoulders. Rachel wants to tell Quinn that they aren’t her real friends, that they’re just going to dump her like trash if Quinn doesn’t become captain. She wants to tell Quinn all of that, but she knows Quinn isn’t going to listen. Or like it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s almost like I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>busy </span>
  </em>
  <span>Rachel. I have cheerios, I’m trying to get onto honor roll, and youth group. You’re lucky I’m coming to see you at all.” Quinn states heatedly, oblivious to the way it makes Rachel’s face fall. It’s so easy to be the HBIC around Rachel too, to forget that Rachel got past those walls, to shut her out and hide how Quinn’s turned into an awful person. She doesn’t mean to. She just wants to protect the only friend that matters to her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rachel gets the message. Her friend Lucy is completely lost, and all she's left with is faint memories and what-could've-beens. She </span>
  <em>
    <span>settles</span>
  </em>
  <span> for Quinn, because it's all she's got at this point. Without Quinn, she literally has no friends. Even if Quinn’s a shitty friend, she's the best Rachel has at this point.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>-- </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The first time Rachel gets slushied, Quinn’s there. Wiping the sticky purple from her eyes, the burn of embarrassment tinges her cheeks. Her eyes flick over to Quinn, at her locker with Brittany and Santana, who never seem to leave Quinn’s side in school these days. They’re effective for getting Rachel to stay away. Quinn can’t be seen with Rachel. Where Quinn has risen to the top, Rachel has dropped to the bottom. It’s not for her lack of trying, she has joined pretty much every club at this school, and she’s polite and friendly to everyone she meets, and she’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>trying. </span>
  </em>
  <span>She wouldn’t want to drag Quinn down with her, not after Quinn has spent so much time destroying herself to have this. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Quinns hazel eyes are filled with apologies, which are quickly silenced by Santana glaring at Quinn. Rachel understands it. She gets why it has to be like this. She wouldn’t want to ruin this for Quinn. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rachel runs. She runs and hides, ignoring the texts from Quinn asking if she's okay. She feels so stupid. Quinn isn’t her Lucy. Her Lucy is dead, and never coming back. She wipes the last of purple slush off her collar and squares her chin. Looking into her own caramel eyes, she promises herself that she's not going to let Quinn walk over her. Things have to be like this but she doesn’t have to stand for it. She doesn’t need her only friend. Her only friend is dead anyway, replaced by a spineless shell spouting bitchy remarks by default. Her finger hovers over the delete contact next to Quinn's name, but she doesn’t press it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>--</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rachel’s tucking away her camera and tripod when she hears the door knock. She’s only </span>
  <em>
    <span>just</span>
  </em>
  <span> finished uploading the video - the pitchfork carrying mob can't have arrived yet. She pads down the stairs, aware that she might be walking to her very own death. Her dads’ are out for date night, and they might have to come home to their only daughter, murdered on the doorstep and lying in cold blood. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She slowly and carefully slides open the door, holding the fire iron above her head, ready to swing. The sight she's greeted with is different. Quinn’s standing there, drenched by the rain, and even through the wet of rain, she can see tear tracks. She knows she's walking a dangerous line, staring into those hazel eyes rimmed with red. She knows that every single time she would pick the fall before leaving Quinn in pain. She wants to leave Quinn out here, standing on the doorstep, vulnerable and alone. It would be what she deserves. It would be petty and vindictive, but Rachel isn’t going to let it happen. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The clatter of the fire iron falling sounds in the background, but Rachel’s too lost in Quinn’s eyes to notice. Quinn reacts though, and Rachel snaps back to earth. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Quinn! Come inside! It's raining!” Rachel says, taking Quinn’s Cheerio duffel bag from her shoulder. After all, she is still the nice and polite person her fathers brought her up to be. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Can I stay here tonight?” Quinn asks meekly. It's been a long time since Rachels heard her sound so soft. It sounds like how Lucy used to. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course,” Rachel agrees, before she thinks about it. “What’s wrong?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It takes a shower - and a pair of Rachel's softest pyjamas before Quinn answers. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I caught Brittany and Santana </span>
  <em>
    <span>together,</span>
  </em>
  <span>” The last part comes out as an almost whisper, and Rachel briefly wonders if Quinn has an issue with gay people. It wouldn’t be surprising, based on the way her parents are. She was raised in that household after all. She’s a Fabray, despite the fact that she hates it. The way she fidgets with the too short hem of the borrowed pyjamas tells Rachel she's hiding something at least. Rachel rubs her hand in patterns on Quinn's back. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh Quinn! That must have been a shock.” Only to Quinn. Rachels seen the way those two walk down the halls, the linked pinkies and the way it's </span>
  <em>
    <span>BrittanyandSantana</span>
  </em>
  <span> and Quinn. She might be a little jealous, so what? She wants to find her perfect person, or at least someone to want her like that. It's frustrating that not a single guy has shown any interest in her. She knows she's not </span>
  <em>
    <span>conventionally </span>
  </em>
  <span>pretty, but she has talent. That should attract someone at least. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Um. Yeah. I saw some pretty </span>
  <em>
    <span>interesting</span>
  </em>
  <span> things,” Quinn admits leaning into Rachels touch. She's kind of curious about some of it. She’d never admit </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> though. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They have a tearful reunion over pistachio ice cream. It's one of Rachel's favourite nights in a long time. It feels like the old times, and Rachel is almost able to delude herself that it is just like the past. Maybe they can be Rachel and Quinn now. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>--</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Something changes that night. Rachel’s suddenly allowed around the Unholy Trinity. She notices the fact that she doesn’t get slushied anymore, and when she asks about it, all she gets is a strong glare from Santana. And just like that, the trinity becomes four. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Yeah, they don’t talk to Rachel at school, but she can make eye contact with them in the halls now. And, Quinn makes up for it after school anyways. She comes over a lot, almost everyday, and she tells Rachel about the bitchy cheerleaders, and which jock is the hottest of the week. She listens to Rachels complaints about the lack of arts programs, and agrees that there should be more. Its stupid, dumb teenage stuff, but Rachel loves it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She has her best friend back. She's damaged, and tends to react with something bitchy before remembering how to actually respond to Rachel, but it's pretty close to what she used to have. Rachel will settle for it. Rachel thinks it's the best she's going to get with Quinn anyways. Quinn is broken, and Rachel wishes she knew how to fix it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>--</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They continue with their new dynamic until junior year. Nothing changes, but the end of school is getting closer and Rachel can feel the pressure. Every day is closer to Broadway and New York. Rachel is trying hard not to get too excited, but who wouldn’t be excited. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Junior year spells other exciting things for Quinn, like prom court. It's all she talks to Rachel about for weeks, gushing about how important it is that she wins, that her mother won, and Frannie did. She can’t be the only Fabray not to win. Rachel knows there's a lot of pressure on her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Going shopping for prom dresses is different from what Rachel dreamed about as a child. She’d always imagined it would be a large affair, with Judy Fabray running a scathing review of all the options, and her fathers attempting to reassure her after the </span>
  <em>
    <span>ruder </span>
  </em>
  <span>comments. She's pleasantly surprised when Quinn texts her to inform her that no parents are allowed to come shopping with them. It makes her feel special about it, like it's just a thing between the two of them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It's.. strangely intimate. Quinn already knows exactly what kind of dress she wants. She picks out a purple and a blue one, and tries them both on. Quinn is the prettiest girl she’s ever met, so both of them look stunning on her. If Rachel had to pick, she’d pick the blue. It makes Quinn look like Cinderella. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rachel thinks Quinn agrees too. It’s wonderful to see the way she looks at herself in the mirror, lips parted just so, hazel eyes lost looking at herself. It’s a long moment, and Rachel considers that Quinn might very possibly be lost in a dream. She tends to have her head in the clouds like that. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Quinn?” Rachel asks, brushing a hand on Quinns shoulder. “Do you like this one?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Quinn's eyes meet her in the mirror. It’s oddly reminiscent of Lucy for a moment. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah.” She says so softly that Rachel almost misses it. “I think it’ll win me prom queen, don’t you?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I think you’re going to win prom queen anyway Quinn,” Rachel says with all her conviction. She doesn’t even need to list the reasons why. Quinn Fabray is destined to be prom queen. She was made for it. Lucy Fabray never had a shot at it, but Quinn Fabray already has the crown. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Quinn picks the blue dress. Rachel spends far more time trying on dresses until she tries on a pink one, an off the shoulder number that hugs her body in the right places. She looks in the mirror and her breath catches. This is the one. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She’s so entranced by her own reflection she misses the way Quinns breath catches too, and how her eyes linger far too long on the tighter parts of her dress. </span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Have you found a date yet?” Quinn asks, searching for a distraction desperately. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I have” Rachel answers, tugging at her dress. “That boy, Noah, he goes to my temple. He asked me last week and I think I’m going to go with him.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Quinn’s stomach twists at that, and she’s not sure why. “That’s... good. Do you like him?” She asks hesitantly. She doesn’t really want to know the answer. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Honestly? I don’t know.. I think I could like him. He’s sweet, and has a good heart. I guess I’ll find out if I like him, right?” It goes unsaid that Rachel thinks she’s lucky that she was even asked at all. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I guess so.” There’s a short pause before Quinn rushes to add, “I’m going with Finn Hudson. He’s the quarterback on the football team, and the perfect person to campaign with.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Now it’s Rachels turn to ask. “Do you like him?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s nice, my father approves of him and he’s my best shot at prom queen.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rachel eyes her in the mirror and doesn't miss the fact that it isn’t an actual answer. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>--</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Walking into prom feels like something straight out of a movie. Rachel walks in, arm in arm with a boy, a boy that actually wants to be there with her. It’s more than she thought she’d have. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The night is amazing, and she gets to dance to her heart's content with Noah, and she doesn’t regret it one little bit when he kisses her. He’s surprisingly adept at it. She doesn’t even mind when his tongue slips in, and she actually enjoys making out with him on the dance floor. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Quinn spends most of the night with Finn, and Rachel gets to sneak her away for just a moment before prom queen is announced. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Good luck.” Rachel says, squeezing Quinns hand. The music playing thumps even into the hall, and Rachels glad to have this moment alone with her best friend. It’s the final piece to the prom night puzzle. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Their short conversation gets interrupted by Noah. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey babe.” He greets, linking his arm in Rachels and leaning down to kiss her. It makes her heart flutter just a little to know he still wants to kiss her, even away from the crowds. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When she turns back to Quinn, there’s an unrecognisable expression on her face. Rachel chalks it up to nerves. One hand linked in Noah’s, and the other in Quinn’s, she drags them back into the gym to hear the announcement. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Quinn wins prom queen. Finn wins prom king. Rachel thinks Quinn really does suit having a tiara on her head. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She doesn’t get the chance to offer her congratulations. Everyone crowds the royal couple, and it's not long before Noah is distracting her. She misses the chance before Quinn goes off to the after party all the popular kids are invited to. She’s not hurt that she’s not going. Brittany, Santana and Quinn's friendship can only extend to her in certain moments. They all have reputations to uphold anyways. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Noah is the perfect gentleman, dropping her off before her midnight curfew. Her fathers are very pleased about it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>——</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s surprising when her text to Quinn the next morning goes unanswered. She tries to wait patiently, lasting until that evening before she snaps and sends a text to Santana. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Santana. Have you heard from Quinn? She hasn’t replied to me all day and I’m worried that she might have died from alcohol poisoning. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Relax Berry. Girl hardly even drank. She ducked out early with Orca. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Orca? Who is that? </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Hudson. He spent the whole night trying to get into her granny panties anyways. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>That’s unnecessarily crass Santana. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I tell it like it is. If you ask me, she’s probably hiding in shame now regretting that her first time included his weirdly puffy nipples. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Quinn wouldn’t. Rachel knows Quinn wouldn’t. She’s a responsible girl, she’s Christian. There’s no way she went home and let Finn Hudson defile her like that. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>—-</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Quinn would apparently. At least that’s what Rachel learns six weeks after prom, when Quinn drives her out to Fort Shawnee, and drags her into a pharmacy. She despises the fact that Santana was right. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What are we doing here Quinn?!” She has no idea why Quinn has kidnapped her here or why she’s so quiet. It’s kept her in an unsettled state the whole drive.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Keep your voice down Rachel!” Quinn snaps, quickening her pace down an aisle. Rachel struggles to keep up with her, and nearly smacks into her when she stops abruptly in front of... pregnancy tests? </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Quinn grabs three different kinds of the tests, and marches down to the counter. Rachels so confused she can’t even get the words out she wants to ask. She doesn’t even know if she wants to ask. She runs over the different ways to word the question, and it keeps her occupied all the way until they get into Quinn's little red beetle. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why?” is all that comes out of her mouth. For all the times when she has too many words to say, this time she doesn’t have enough. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I need them,” Quinn says, before she turns on her car and drives them to Rachel's house. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>—- </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rachel paces outside her bathroom. She’s lucky that it’s attached to her bedroom, or her dads might notice and ask her what’s wrong. She doesn’t even know what she would tell them. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It’s the longest ten minutes of her life waiting for Quinn. When Quinn gently comes out of the bathroom, she doesn’t even need to ask if they were positive. She can see it on Quinns face. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Quinn feels tiny in her arms, sobbing and murmuring about how her life is over. Rachel holds her, maneuvering down to her bed where they stay for hours, until Quinn is all out of tears, and passes out on her bed. Eyes closed and face relaxed, she looks impossibly young to be dealing with all of this. Rachel does her nightly routine, dresses in her pyjamas, and tucks herself next to the sleeping blonde, sighing when Quinn instinctively burrows into her body. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>wow, look, I produced another chapter! </p>
<p>Big props to V for beta-ing my stuff, if you go back to chapter one now you'll see its been edited.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>One momentary bad decision makes Quinn’s life fall apart. It’s frustrating because Quinn is the version of her that was supposed to be perfect. It makes her want to bang her head into the wall. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She doesn’t know what she’s going to do. She doesn’t want to get rid of it, but it’s going to </span>
  <em>
    <span>ruin </span>
  </em>
  <span>her life. </span>
  <em>
    <span>It </span>
  </em>
  <span>already has. Why the hell had she let Finn Hudson get into her pants. It was just 30 seconds - and that's being generous - of pain and discomfort, and now it’s coming to bite her in the ass. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She doesn’t really know why she did it anyway. Well, beyond the fact that after seeing Rachel and Puckerman, she felt like total shit and just wanted to feel </span>
  <em>
    <span>better</span>
  </em>
  <span>. In reality it made her feel worse and she hurt for days after. She still feels off, but now she knows why she feels off. The knowledge is not comforting.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Finn’s an idiot. Beyond the fact he literally said ‘uhhh’ for five minutes after she told him, he has no idea what he's doing. She couldn’t have picked a worse guy. God, he sang </span>
  <em>
    <span>You’re having my baby</span>
  </em>
  <span> at her father’s dinner table. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Well, her </span>
  <em>
    <span>ex-</span>
  </em>
  <span>family's dinner table. It still stings. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>She's not sure why he was surprised. She told him, she had told him, her parents were going to burn her like a witch if they found out. It had taken a whole five minutes of him just watching her pack up her life before he realised it was actually happening; that she was actually getting kicked out of her house, and her life as she knows it is over. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His awkward hands fumble with her clothes as he shoves them into the cheerios duffle she gave him. He's creasing them, but there's no time to worry about that now. She has thirty minutes to pack up her entire life, all sixteen years of it. It's terrifying. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She thinks she has everything, Finn’s already had to make five trips to his car, so she stops to look around her room one last time. It looks bare, and impersonal. Without her touches, like her photos above her desk or the cheerleading trophies on the windowsill, the room is bare. It's a hospital room, devoid of life. If only it had white walls and not lilac. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Her eyes brush over her bookshelf. It wouldn’t make sense for her to take them - they’re unneeded, despite the fact she wants to take them. She wanders over, pulling three books off the shelf - her bible, Alice in Wonderland, and her own baby book. She doesn’t want to think about what her parents are going to do to her stuff once she steps out the door.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Glancing back one last time, sending out a silent goodbye to this part of her life, she follows Finn down the stairs, hugging the books tightly to her chest. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>--</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m going to take you home Quinn. My mom - well she has to be okay with it. That's </span>
  <em>
    <span>my </span>
  </em>
  <span>baby.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The way Finn takes ownership over it, because it's not a b- </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span>, it's an it, and the way, by extension, he takes ownership of her, makes her feel sick. It wouldn’t be the first time she's thrown up tonight. She’s not anyone's property and she’s not going to let her baby be anyone's property either. She might not know what she’s doing with it, but she’s not going to drop it into the oddly large (and sweaty) hands of Finn. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It's why the next words come out of her mouth. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Take me to Rachel’s, please Finn.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>--</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She knows Rachel is surprised to see her. Her expression gives it away. It's funny, for all her talk of wanting to be an actor, Rachel is unable to lie to her. She chooses not to comment on it though, and Quinn is </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>grateful for her warm arms taking her in. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“They- they kicked me out Rach,” she whimpers, a fresh new wave of tears coming on. How is someone supposed to deal with losing their whole family at 16? Quinn has no idea. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rachel doesn’t even need to think about it before she offers Quinn to stay. Quinn accepts. She doesn’t want to go back to Finn’s house, forced into his arms by the baby growing in her belly. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rachel wastes no time directing Finn to put all of Quinn's things in the guest bedroom. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>-- </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Quinn's not surprised when Santana stalks up to her in the halls a week later. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“What the </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span> Quinn? You’re staying with Berry?” She hisses. Quinn knows that Santana won’t say Rachel out of fear it shows that she cares about Rachel. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t have anywhere else to go. My parents kicked me out San.” She states plainly. She wouldn’t even try to stay at Finn’s. The idiot already thinks that he can have a free pass because he can’t get her more pregnant. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Aww shit Q.” Santana says, and Quinn knows if they weren’t in a crowded hall, a hug would accompany it. People may think Santana Lopez is a bitch, and she is, but she's also fiercely protective. Quinn knows that. “I mean- you could- you could’ve stayed at my house, you know?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She could’ve. Just like she could’ve stayed at Finns. She doesn’t really know why she picked Rachel’s house over her other friends’. Well she does, but she doesn’t want to think about that. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>--- </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rachel is far more accommodating than she needs to be. The Mr Berrys are too. Quinn tries, she really does. She attempts to do any chores she can get her hands on, she stays out of the way, she allows them to have precious family time without her. She doesn’t want to be more of a burden than she already is. She </span>
  <em>
    <span>will </span>
  </em>
  <span>stay out of the way. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rachel makes it hard. She comes into the bathroom and holds her hair back when morning sickness hits, and even when Quinn tries to be quiet, she somehow just </span>
  <em>
    <span>knows </span>
  </em>
  <span>and comes to help. Rachel always tries to do the chores before her, or shoo her away from washing dishes, and Quinn wishes she would just </span>
  <em>
    <span>let </span>
  </em>
  <span>her help out. It makes her feel better for freeloading. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The Mr Berry's make it hard too. They're so nice, and they ask her about her day everyday (which she honestly did not know how to answer properly for the first week) and they bought her prenatal vitamins. They even order non vegan stuff just for Quinn, and tease Rachel about veganism so Quinn doesn’t feel bad. It makes her feel like maybe her life hasn't completely fallen apart, or that maybe she hadn’t been living it right. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The first time they force her into family game night she wants to run away. It took all of three weeks for Rachel to realise she was intentionally pretending not to feel well when they had game nights. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Of course</span>
  </em>
  <span> she tells her father, and that's how Quinn ends up sitting on the floor of their living room, absolutely schooling them in monopoly. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It surprises them, and Rachel throws a diva fit and storms out when Quinn buys both Park Lane and Mayfair. Rachel knew she was going to lose. It surprises Quinn that she finds herself following Rachel, softly padding into her bedroom. It really doesn’t seem like a smart idea to be following someone after they stormed out of a room. She certainly wouldn’t follow Finn if he stormed out of a room. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Rach?” she asks softly, seeking permission to enter as an afterthought. Rachel may not want to be seen right now. Which she should have thought of before coming up here. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rachel looks up at her bewildered. “Quinn? Why are you here?” She huffs, and her bottom lip sticks out more than usual. It's an adorable attempt at a pout. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry for winning. I can try to lose next time,” Quinn offers, shifting from foot to foot. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not upset you won Quinn.” Rachel softens. “It is imperative that I learn how and when to properly storm out </span>
  <em>
    <span>before</span>
  </em>
  <span> I get on Broadway. I am merely practicing.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Quinn lets out the breath she was holding and a little chuckle. “You’re insane. That’s actually crazy Rachel. You don’t need to practice storming out.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It is important! My storm outs need to be </span>
  <em>
    <span>perfect </span>
  </em>
  <span>so that people will respect them. I can’t have people not take me seriously Quinn.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Some days, Quinn wonders why she picked Rachel's house. She smiles, padding over to Rachel and sits next to her on her bed. Being able to actually see those brown eyes reminds her why. And it reminds her that she should just get over herself and wear her glasses around the Berry residence. Rachel’s not going to judge her for her nerdy glasses, not after she's just learnt the brunette practices diva storm outs. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“They’ll see your talent and respect you. No one will be able to not take you seriously when you have </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>much talent, Rach.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And what if it's not enough, Quinn? I thought I was talented at Monopoly, and you just came by and beat me. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Easily</span>
  </em>
  <span>, might I add.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><span>“And I thought I wasn’t going to become a </span><em><span>whale</span></em> <em><span>again </span></em><span>Rachel.” She laughs sardonically, lying back on the bed and dropping a hand to her stomach and tucking the other under her head.  “We don’t always get what we want. You just need to </span><em><span>trust</span></em><span> yourself. You’ve been working towards this since you were a kid. Don’t let insecurity take it away from you.” </span></p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rachel seems to mull it over for a moment, lips pursed in thought. She looks at Quinn, really </span>
  <em>
    <span>looks, </span>
  </em>
  <span>in the way that makes Quinn feel like her whole heart is on display. Sometimes she wonders if Rachel is the only one that can truly see her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re not a </span>
  <em>
    <span>whale </span>
  </em>
  <span>Quinn Fabray. You’re pregnant. I don’t like it when you think of it like that.” Rachel settles on, tracing patterns on the back of Quinns hand. “It's not like </span>
  <em>
    <span>before. </span>
  </em>
  <span>This isn’t the end of your life Quinn. It can be a good thing if you just </span>
  <em>
    <span>let it.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>-- </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She doesn’t like the way that etches across her brain, running through it constantly for weeks. It's what she thinks about in class, or when Santana is ranting, </span>
  <em>
    <span>yet again</span>
  </em>
  <span>, about Coach Sylvester. It's what she thinks about when Finn tells her he got a job as a busboy, and it carries her through her days. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It reminds her to think positively, and to suppress the bitch that lives in her mind. It's what she's using now to remind herself not to snap at Finn. He's trying, and he wants to be a good dad to this baby. She just needs to let him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It's why she ends up at the Hudson's, for dinner. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh honey! Look at you! You’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>pregnant!” Carole exclaims, and it's a reminder Quinn doesn’t need. She's well aware of the thing living in her body and taking over it. “It's adorable, isn’t it Burt?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>That was a surprise. To find out that Finns stepbrother was the school queer. She's much more open to it than her parents, but she certainly doesn’t miss the bullying and taunts that Kurt gets on a daily basis. He's one of the only ones that gets it worse than her right now. She’s quietly grateful that her issue is temporary, while he has to be one of </span>
  <em>
    <span>those</span>
  </em>
  <span> for the rest of his life. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She plays the part of a perfect girlfriend well. She </span>
  <em>
    <span>has </span>
  </em>
  <span>to. These are the only grandparents that her baby gets. She wouldn’t want to ruin that for them. She smiles in the right places, entertains polite conversation, and she would call it a successful family dinner. Carole even lets them hide up in Finns room for a while. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you think of Drizzle?” Finn asks, flinging paper footballs into a little plastic goal post on his desk. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It's rain. It makes you wet and ruins your hair.” She draws patterns on her belly in an attempt to calm the baby, while internally rolling her eyes at Finn’s inanity. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No. Like to name the baby. It works for a boy or a girl. I was wracking my brain for names and I thought it could be perfect.” Finn beams, reaching out a hand to touch her belly. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She smacks it away. The only person she allows to touch her is Rachel, and it's only because she somehow manages to do it without making alarm bells ring in her head. Finn’s hands are a giant alarm bell reminding her exactly how she got into this place. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s almost as stupid as naming a girl Quinn,” she retorts. She almost appreciates Finn thinking of things like this, but it's unhelpful. She will not be naming her baby Drizzle, or anything after rain. She reminds herself not to bitch at him, again. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I think it’s cute.” Finn replies, flicking yet another paper football and missing. It seems that he's missing her annoyance too. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Shouldn’t we find out what it is first?” Quinn asks. They have </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>appointment in three days, and Quinn is apprehensive. It means things are getting closer and she's no closer to knowing what she is doing. She knows Finn just expects her to keep it. Rachel tells her it's her own decision, that there are good points to adoption - case in point Rachel herself - but that no one will fault her if she wants to be selfish and keep it. Well, she didn’t say selfish, but Quinn knows it would be. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, probably,” Finn grunts, clearly over the topic. Stupid boys. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>--</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It's a girl. Quinn doesn’t know if she loves or hates that. She read somewhere that baby boys pee on their parents a lot, and she is at least grateful that she doesn’t have to deal with that. It weirds her out that she technically has a daughter now. It's all getting so much more real, and she can feel the walls closing in. It doesn’t help that she's claustrophobic. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When she heads home the first person she tells is Rachel. Finn already knows, and it's not like Santana cares to know. Rachel squeals, grabbing both of her hands, and tells her about how exciting it is, listing off names she thinks are suitable. Quinn tunes out after the third Broadway inspired name. Rachel has always been a little insane. It's one of Quinn’s favorite things about her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>--</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It's weird how the Mr Berrys become much more like parents than her own parents ever were. They’re so kind to her, and patient. They ask the right questions, and don’t pressure Quinn into anything. They tell her that she's welcome to make any choice. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>So many people have already made the choice for her. Santana thinks she should give it away, and pretend like nothing happened. It seems a little too heartless, even for Quinn. Finn wants her to keep it. He’s not ready, not one bit, but he wants to be a dad. The one thing Quinn does know is that Finn will be a good dad. Brittany’s just excited to have a baby around, not really aware of the actual implication of having a baby around. Rachel continues to stay impartial, refusing to give her actual opinion on the situation. She’s tried asking, but Rachel stays annoyingly quiet. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Quinn doesn’t know what she wants. She knows what her parents want, for her to not exist at all. She knows what she should do, give her away and hope she gets a better life than Quinn could ever give her. She can’t help but imagine what it would be like, soft summery days with a toddler running around a park. She's a child herself, she knows that. How can a child raise a child? </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She wants to be selfish though. She wants to be selfish and to keep her. It feels like it will hurt too much to give away this piece of her. She can’t spend the years wondering where she is, whether her baby is doing better or worse. She silently prays that she won't screw it up too bad. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It's the first prayer she's made since she got kicked out of her home and family.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>---</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Things don’t get </span>
  <em>
    <span>better </span>
  </em>
  <span>with Finn, but they become normal. They have date nights every Thursday, and Rachel even schedules her date nights to match up. Her and Puck continue to go strong, and it confuses Quinn. She has no idea why they even work, and Quinn really does think Rachel should do better. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Puckerman is an idiot. He’s not very bright, and Quinn just </span>
  <em>
    <span>knows </span>
  </em>
  <span>he doesn’t listen to Rachel’s rambling properly. She knows what his reputation around school is, and she's got several of her cheerios on the lookout for any inkling that he might be unfaithful to Rachel. She tells herself she's just making up for the past, by being the best friend she can be now. There’s absolutely no ulterior motive. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She tolerates Puck, just like she tolerates Finn. The only problem is she can’t get rid of Finn so easily. Shes forever tied to him now, thanks to her one night of idiotic choices. It's not that Finn is bad, but he's just not great. His topics of conversation are dull, he keeps trying to stick his giant hands places they shouldn’t, and Quinn constantly feels like she's almost being forced into being with him. She's not being forced, she's unfortunately choosing Finn Hudson to be her boyfriend. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It could be worse. He's the quarterback, and it's keeping her just above the bottom of the social ladder now that she's too fat to be a cheerleader. Sue had unceremoniously thrown her off the team in the halls, and it took less than an hour to go around the school. It was one of the worst school days of her life. God, she hates the stares, and the comments. It takes her right back to living as Lucy, which was not enjoyable at all. Besides those moments with Rachel. Maybe she should try and recreate some of those moments, if they ever had time. Rachel's always with Puckerman, and she's always with Finn. Stupid boyfriends. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She still wishes Puckerman wasn’t dating Rachel. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>--</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn serenades her </span>
  <em>
    <span>again. </span>
  </em>
  <span>As if the first time and its consequences weren’t bad enough, he thinks it's good to try again. He leads her into the choir room after school, where that dumb singing club they’re all in is. She’s forced into a rigid red chair, and she already hates it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Finn has such an endearing smile, and it really does look like he believes this is the best possible thing he can be doing for her. He gives her a rose, and tells her he wants to sing her a song. Quinn swallows her pride, and almost mumbles something about PTSD, but Finn’s already singing. He picks the song Beth by KISS, and Quinn hates the way it makes the name etch into her brain. She becomes Beth, and at least it's better than Drizzle. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It’s actually not a bad performance. Finn seems to have gotten the whole group to be in the number, and they even have sort of matching costumes. Rachel sings with Finn, and despite the fact that Quinn has heard Rachel sing so many times before, it brings her to tears. Her voice is so incredibly powerful, the notes resonating within her chest and bringing waves of emotion over her. She knows it's heightened by hormones, and she hates the way it soaks her cheeks. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They both look incredibly proud of themselves by the time the song ends, and Quinn doesn’t even know the words to thank them both. She hugs her boyfriend, sending a beaming smile and reaching out at her best friend. Because that's what Rachel is. She's the best friend Quinn has ever had, and she doesn’t know why she ever let that go. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>For a moment, she feels so incredibly loved and supported. It's such a foreign feeling to her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>-- </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Friday nights are spent inside with Rachel. It's not like Quinn has things to be doing on Fridays now anyways. As a social pariah, she doesn’t get invited to parties (not that she wants to go- she's always exhausted these days) and she doesn’t want to go watch Finn play football. He kind of sucks at it, and it's hard for her to play the supportive girlfriend when the team never wins. Now that she doesn’t have to pretend at home, lying is so much harder. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Instead, Rachel and her watch movies, or catch up on homework. Sometimes Quinn helps Rachel with her glee club songs, or they just do their own thing within the confines of Rachel’s room. It's </span>
  <em>
    <span>their </span>
  </em>
  <span>night, and it's oddly domestic. It’s easily her favourite night of the week. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>This particular Friday is different. Rachel was weird all day at school, and Quinn knows something is wrong. She doesn’t get a chance to ask Rachel about it until they’re tucked up in her bed, Rachel cudded into her, or as close as she can get these days. Quinn feels like she's dangerously walking the fat vs </span>
  <em>
    <span>whale </span>
  </em>
  <span>line at the moment. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s wrong Rach?” She asks, brushing a lock of brown hair behind her ear. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rachel remains silent, and the worry in the pit of Quinn’s stomach grows exponentially. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Rach?” She asks softly, her eyes searching Rachel’s. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I- I broke things off with Noah.” Rachel admits, in this soft, quiet voice that twists a knife in Quinn’s gut. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh.” She really wasn’t expecting that. Curiosity gets the best of her, and she continues, “What happened?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“He's just not my leading man. It was nice.. nice to be wanted, but we were never going to work Quinn. I know it was only a matter of time, his eyes were already wandering, I just still have an emotional reaction to it, which I am attempting to work through as fast as possible.” Rachel rambles, her jaw tightening into an attempt to look strong. “I’ll be fine in a few days.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It's expected. Puckerman (because he's never going to be Noah in Quinns mind) was the school's player, and frankly, Quinn was surprised he even went for Rachel. He must’ve realised that she wasn’t going to put out - a fact that brings a little smile to Quinn's face - and decided to look for someone easier. It sucks, because this was Rachel’s first boyfriend but Quinn thinks she deserves someone willing to hang the damn moon for her, and Puckerman was never going to be that.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Quinn’s eyes soften, drinking in the heartbreaking sight in front of her. If she could take the pain away from Rachel she would right now. Transfer it to herself, and she would do it in a heartbeat. Rachel doesn’t deserve any of this. She's a good person, she does everything right. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Rach. No. Don’t do that to yourself.” Quinn looks deep into the hurt in those brown eyes. “You’re allowed to hurt about it. You know you can talk to me about it right?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What is there to say? I liked a guy I </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew </span>
  </em>
  <span>was a womanizer, foolishly thinking I could change him or make him settle down for a while, but I can’t. It's better that I end it now before he can actually hurt me Quinn.”  Rachel shrugs, shifting a little closer to Quinn and intertwining their hands. “I’m not an easy person to love.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And no! Quinn wants to argue that, because Rachel was always one of the easiest people for her to love. Even when she </span>
  <em>
    <span>wanted </span>
  </em>
  <span>to hate Rachel she couldn’t. Those big brown eyes and the genuine way her smile beams and her incredible talent. Despite Quinn’s efforts, she can’t hate any part of Rachel. Believe her, she’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>tried. </span>
  </em>
  <span>If she hated Rachel, it would make things so much easier. She wouldn’t have to worry about her love for her, or the way that she never feels like she can be as good of a friend as Rachel is.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>So she does argue it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“That’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>true Rachel. Puckerman’s wandering eyes don’t know what they're missing out on. You’re special Rachel Berry. Always have been, and always will be. You deserve better than him.” She squeezes Rachel’s hand for a second. “We’re in high school. You don’t have to find your perfect person now.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Quinn knows that's what Rachel is really worried about. Rachel's a planner, lists, calendars, milestones. It's what she does best, organising and planning. Whatever arbitrary date she's picked to find her person, Quinn’s sure it's stupidly early. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You did.” Rachel answers, her eyes locked onto Quinn’s collarbones. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Finn?” Quinn asks, and Rachel nods. “Finn’s an idiot Rachel. Sometimes I worry he might put his own shoes on the wrong foot.” </span>
  <span></span>
    <br/>
  
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I- how can you trust him to raise a baby with you Quinn?” Rachel's face twists into a recognisable version of worry- the one that judges Quinn’s choices. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Quinn actually laughs, looking down at Rachel’s face and unable to hide a grin. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s an idiot Rachel, but he will be a good dad. That’s what a baby needs Rach. A good dad.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Quinn believes it with her whole heart, and maybe it's a little of her own issues peaking through, but she really does think they won’t screw this baby up completely. Plus, for reasons unknown to her, she's actually attached to her now.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It seems to placate Rachel, and things go silent for a while, Quinn's hand threading through Rachel's hair, settling them into a steady beat. Quinn almost misses the next thing Rachel says. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Quinn? Do you think I’m hard to like?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>That throws her in a loop. Even Quinn has moments where she </span>
  <em>
    <span>doesn’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>like Rachel, such as when she does those god awful vocal warm-ups at 7 am. Anyone wouldn’t like those, but it doesn’t make Rachel </span>
  <em>
    <span>hard </span>
  </em>
  <span>to like. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>If you ask her, she doesn't know why she does her next move - pressing her lips lightly to Rachel’s, and for a few moments it’s bliss, before Rachel recoils and it all goes to shit. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Except she does know, she just doesn't want to admit it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rachel’s lips are so much better to kiss than Finn’s. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>--- </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Things after that become harder to hide. Every little thing Rachel does is painted in a new light, and Quinn has to constantly remind herself to stop. She can’t. She's sixteen, and pregnant, and she just can't. It can’t work. Rachel’s getting out of Lima and she's not going to be the one to hold her back. She's already destined to be a Lima loser and she won’t destine Rachel to the same. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>https://donnasheridone.tumblr.com/</p>
<p>Come bug me! I'm always happy to answer things or chat or just come yell at me for the future angst!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i appreciate any comments!! or come yell at me: </p>
<p>donnasheridone.tumblr.com</p></blockquote></div></div>
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